Parenting Rules and Boundaries

You want to stay out an hour later than your curfew to see a movie with a friend your parents approve of. Your parents are occasionally willing to negotiate your curfew depending on who you are with and the activity you are doing?

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You want to stay out an hour later than your curfew to see a movie with a friend your parents approve of. Your parents are occasionally willing to negotiate your curfew depending on who you are with and the activity you are doing?

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Here's a potential approach to asking your parents, keeping in mind they are sometimes flexible:

  • Choose the Right Time: Pick a calm moment when your parents aren't stressed or busy. Avoid bringing it up right before dinner or when they are rushing out the door.
  • Be Direct and Polite: Start by clearly stating your request.

"Mom and Dad, I was wondering if we could talk about my curfew this Saturday?"

  • Provide Details: Explain the situation clearly. Include who you're going with, what you're doing, and why you want the extra time.

"My friend [Friend's Name] and I were planning to see [Movie Name] on Saturday. It starts at [Time] and ends around [Time]. With the drive home, I was hoping I could have an extension of my curfew by one hour."

  • Highlight Positive Aspects: Emphasize that you're going with a friend they approve of and that the activity is a reasonable one.

"You know I am friends with [Friend's name], and you both think they are a good influence. It would mean a lot to me as I have really been wanting to see this movie."

  • Be Prepared to Negotiate: They might not agree to the full hour. Have a backup plan in mind, such as offering to call or text them during the movie, or agreeing to be home a little earlier than you initially asked.

"I understand if one hour is too much, maybe we can negotiate for half an hour?"

  • Show Responsibility: Remind them that you've been responsible in the past and that they can trust you.

"I've always respected my curfew before, and I will make sure to be safe and responsible."

  • Accept Their Decision: If they say no, accept their decision gracefully. Arguing or getting upset will make them less likely to be flexible in the future. Thank them for considering your request.

"Okay, I understand. Thanks for listening."

  • Offer a Compromise: If they are hesitant, offer solutions that address their concerns.

"Would it help if I checked in with you halfway through the movie? Or if [Friend's Name]'s parents texted you as well?"

Wrote answer · 3/14/2025
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